Looking forward to friday!!

Going to church on sunday made me really want to go every weekend.  Father Jack is awesome! :)!

Sometime this week I'll hear from MUSC to see of I'm definitely in or not. Still pray and keep your fingers crossed!!!!

I'm sooooo in love it's not even funny!!!

Anyway, I can't wait for summer but at the same time I can cause I really enjoy the time with my roomies!  I do indeedy!!  I finally have good roommates!!!

back to studying!!  boooo

EDIT.

secret wish:  to be in his arms still...

I'm just happy!

Everything's going right in the world. !

I feel tons better!!!

It took some talking to Shannah and some realization and now i'm good.

Shannah's my guru. I love her to death.  I miss her tons and wish I could go visit her.

Buuuut yeah so I got my new phone today. It's a cutie!  But I'll add later.  I have some deep or rather important thoughts but I don't feel like writing them at this moment.

:)

EDIT.

I dont care about my weight anymore.  I've realized the people that matter to me love the way I look, so I don't need to try to please EVERYONE with my body.  I've given up on diets and exercise.  I don't need it.  My loved ones love me for how i am already.  There will be people in my life who won't like my body size, type, height. My face, my eyes, my voice, my smile, etc.  There will ALWAYS be people who are against me.  So insteand of focusing on them, I'm focusing on the people that already love me.  They matter, and they love me and how my body already is.  So yay. I finally realized it.

It's moments like these where I sit and don't know what to do with myself....where I feel these immense hurt in my chest and don't know how to let it out.  I take showers, where the water is hot enough to burn my skin...it's red.  The heat of the water gets my mind of the pain in my heart and focuses on the steam in the air that traps itself in my lungs where I have to breathe harder or choke.  My body just stands there under the water, my eyes staring at my toes as they turn red from the water, and I hold myself, and feel water that's not coming from the showerhead fall down my cheeks.  It's times like these that I need that warmth to help me.  When I get out and see my charleston family, my face is red and wet...they won't know I've been crying.  They won't see my tears and hurt....that's all washing down the drain.